Some stories only come out if you ask.
Tell us a little about your mom, your granddad, or whoever you've been meaning to sit down with. You'll get twenty questions written for them, ready on your phone or printed for the kitchen table.
About three minutes. Free, and nothing to sign up for.
What was the first thing you saw when you landed in Houston?
Who taught you to wire your first house?
What song did your father whistle to settle the cows?
The difference is one detail.
A general question gets a polite answer. Put their street, their job, or the year they left in it, and you get a story.
Grew up on Pruitt Street in Macon
What was your childhood like?
What did the kitchen on Pruitt Street smell like on a Sunday?
ER nurse, 1979 to 2011
Tell me about your career.
Which night shift do you still think about on the drive home?
Left Manila for Daly City in 1988
What was it like to immigrate?
What did you pack in Manila that you never unpacked in Daly City?
Twenty questions, in an order that works.
Nobody opens up on the first question. A guide starts somewhere easy and earns its way to the harder ones.
- IWarming up1–4
Easy, everyday memories. Breakfast, chores, what was on the radio.
- IIThe stories5–12
Particular days, decisions, and people from their life.
- IIIThe tender part13–17
People they miss, hard seasons, what they carried quietly.
- IVWhat lasts18–20
What they want handed down: a saying, a recipe, a story.
Every question comes with a follow-up for when the first answer is short. If one doesn't sound like something you'd say, ask for a different one, a gentler one, or one with more detail.
Made for the conversation, not just the planning.
- One question at a time
- Big type you can read at arm's length, and a screen that stays awake while they talk.
- Room for what they said
- Jot down a name, a place, the line you don't want to forget. Your notes print with the questions, so the PDF becomes a record of the afternoon.
- Their voice, filed by question
- Tap record once. Each answer is saved under its question, on your phone only. Later, have any of them written out into your notes, or download everything as a folder the family can keep.
- A nudge when they open a door
- If your notes mention someone or something another question is about, it points you there next. If the moment sounds tender, it tells you there's no rush.
6 of 20 · The stories
What song did your father whistle to settle the cows?
What they said
A hymn, can't remember which. Tried to whistle it after Walt died and couldn't get it right.
That sounded like it mattered. There's no rush to move on.
When you're ready, question 14 follows on: What do you miss about Walt on an ordinary day?
Before you sit down
Oral historians have been doing this for a long time. A few things they've learned:
- 1
Record it, and say who’s talking. Ask first. Then start with both your names and the date. Someday you’ll want their voice, not just the words.
- 2
Bring a song, a photo, or a recipe. Music and smells bring back memories that questions alone can’t reach, even for people whose memory is fading. Snap a photo from the album and you’ll get questions about it.
- 3
Ask for the scene. When an answer stays general, ask them to picture the room: the weather, the light, who else was there.
- 4
Let the quiet sit. Twice. Wait a few seconds after you ask, and again after they answer. The best part often comes after the second pause.
- 5
Share one of your own. People open up when it goes both ways. A memory of yours makes room for one of theirs.
- 6
Leave their memory alone. If a date or a name comes out wrong, let it go. You’re collecting their version.
Who have you been meaning to call?
Start a guide